I've been living in Italy for about 5 months now. I just turned 17 a couple weeks ago. I'd say I'm pretty young to be living away from my family, especially considering we're on different continents. Anyone living a plane ride from home knows that you can call home a million times but you never feel close enough. When you feel sad you know that there's no way for you to get a hug from your mom. And when you want help with homework your big sister isn't there to assist. This has been my biggest challenge when dealing with homesickness.
Luckily for me, it hasn't happened that often. It's something that hits me once maybe twice a month, and usually only lasts for a day. That's all it is, a bad day.
When you first arrive to your host country, one of two things can happen. One, you might experience a vacation-like excitement. Everything is new and adventurous and because you've only been there for a short amount of time it feels temporary. It's called the "honeymoon" stage. The second thing that could happen is homesickness. You might start dwelling on the time-change and distance as soon as you step off that plane. It's probably because you're scared, that's normal. Some of my friends went through the honeymoon stage when they first arrived to Italy. And some of them skipped it and went to homesickness first. I went to the homesickness stage.
I've handled homesickness a few different ways. The thing that troubles me most about it though is that people don't understand it. The typical response you'll get when you tell people you're homesick is that you should go out with them or do something fun. And if that works for you then by all means go ahead, have fun! Adventure to the beach, go for a hike, hang out with friends! It's the perfect solution to homesickness for some people. For others (me being among them) I need to stay home in my room for the night, and I'll be fine the next day. It really depends on the type of person you are. Handle it the way you feel it needs to be handled. I'm telling you this because I did not get this memo before coming here. If you feel like everybody is pushing you to go out when you're sad, don't go if you can't handle it, it's okay.
However let me make myself clear, I am 100% not telling you to lock yourself in your room every time you feel this way. Don't build up a bad habit of isolating yourself, because then you could become depressed. Most exchange students experience depression a couple times during their exchange, so try to stay away from that. As much as I need these "stay-at-home" days for recovery, 4/5 times I make myself go out. This is the way that I handle my homesickness because I know it's right for me.
That's another thing I'd like to bring up while I'm on the topic of pushing yourself. I've developed a way of thinking since I've been here that really works for me, and although it can be scary, it's what has made my exchange year so special. My new motto in life is "Just Say Yes."
(Remember kids: Pugs before drugs) ==>To me, "Just Say Yes" means saying yes to lots of things I would normally say no to. Like going out to a party with a bunch of people I don't know. It's not something I am usually comfortable doing, and I still don't love the idea when I first hear it. But for New Years Eve, Christmas, and all the parties in between, guess who always pushed herself to go out and socialize?
So yeah. Do yourself a favor and adopt the motto. Just say yes guys.
And again, please remember that homesickness is temporary. And dealing with it is hard, but you'll get through it. Talking to other exchange students about it can be really helpful. You'd be surprised how close you'll become with each other. Remember that you're all going through the exact same thing even if you don't think so. Maybe someone feels alone, so talk to them about it, nobody can relate to you like they do. I hope this post was informative and helped some of you guys out.
Lots of love,
Nicole xoxo
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